The Book of Pooetry

Before we start, let me remind you that we’re not pretending to make great art here. Please bear that in mind when you recoil in disgust.

Photo by Polina Tankilevitch on

It’s granola! What did you think it was…?

I believe that nothing is off limits when it comes to writing poetry. Whether you feel it’s polite to write about any given subject, of course, is another matter.

Most people don’t write about poo. If you know me from my previous blog, you won’t be surprised to learn that I do.

And wee, and vomit, and other human – if gross – bodily functions. I make fun of it. So much so that, back in 2012, I found myself with a whole bunch of poems about The Disgusting Things Our Body Produces That We Don’t Like To Talk About.

I also had a whole bunch of names for the collection, many of them suggested by readers of my old blog, The Laughing Housewife. I couldn’t choose one name so I set up a poll and asked my readers to pick instead. Some of my favourites include:

  • Et Tu Poo
  • Stool Samples
  • Poetry in Motions
  • Loo Haikus
  • It’s All Over Bar The Wiping
  • The Lighter Side of Excrement
  • Turd Words
  • What Does Fecal Matter?

The Book of Pooetry won the vote, however.

My next intended step was to self-publish the poems as a pdf and offer it free to readers of TLH. Remember, this was back in 2012, when I still lived under the illusion that I had any technological skills whatsoever. The pdf never happened because I’m a true technept, but I have been thinking for a few years now that making videos of the poems might be fun.

Even funner: videos filmed on various toilets, mostly public (seat down/trousers up, naturally). Not being particularly regular myself, I will drop them into the blog at random times.

But you know what is even funner than my videos in sundry toilets? If you, my dear readers, fancied filming poo poems – mine or your own – on YOUR toilets!

If you fancy having a go, drop me a line at and I’ll send you an un-recorded poem. Or perhaps you think my recording of a particular poem is dull and could be vastly improved upon? Just re-record it and send me the video. Or maybe you know of a stunning toilet that deserves to have a video placed on this obscure poetry blog? Just do it!

Just poo it!

Note: please keep them clean.


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